It's not my fault.
Hi, let me start with some things, it won't make sense till further on, but here I go. It has been like 13 or 14 years. I have been in therapy for a month. I have depression, anxiety, an eating disorder, and possibly PTSD. I have carried this secret with me for 13 or 14 years. I am a survivor of sexual assault. It was the same night my best friend was raped. We were a little naïve, and did some stupid things. I feel so much regret I couldn't save her like she saved me. She is still my best friend. I don't know if she carried guilt about that weekend or not but we basically never talked about it again. It wasn't our fault. I didn't even start to entertain that thought until today. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't her fault. We didn't consent. We weren't in our right minds. They were older, much older. We were outnumbered. We might as well been light years from home, but we were only in a neighboring state. It wasn't my fault, I couldn