Hello

      I think it is important to note that the vast majority of the year, I haven't wrote nearly as much as I wanted to, because I try to tread very lightly on the line between this is my story to tell, and what would my 13 year old feel if he reads this later in life.      If perhaps this is still up and he is the one reading it I want you to know this, you will always be my first baby. I am sorry things never got easier this year. I am sorry you won't be home for Christmas or your birthday. I am sorry this was hard. I don't regret the ending here, I don't regret where you are right now. I loved you enough to let you go and get the help you needed. We tried bud, we did, and someday if not yet, I hope you understand this, I loved you enough to let you go.      That's pretty much all you get for that child, the youngest started home head start. Next year he might go to the real school. The middle child we are in the home stretch of him getting evaluated. It's