Hello

 I got to thinking lately, which can be dangerous for me. I got to thinking about relationships, specifically  my relationships with males.  The relationships within the family were different. My senior year in high school, I felt more like I had to serve as some version of a caretaker for a family member. I am not sure if our relationship ever fully recovered. My Grampa was my knight in shining armor, and later I would learn I got the VERY best version of him. I am glad I learned what I did, it did taint the image a bit, but it gave me a bigger picture. Something I think I needed, it allowed me to get closer to other people in the family. The only person in my family, who is still alive, who weathered all the storms with me, and is still there for me, is my brother.  Now something interesting is I didn't starting dating until college. The relationships I had in high school felt more surface level, there was only two people that went deeper then surface level. I am almost certain i