Pandora's Box
The journey of avoiding the nervous breakdown I still find myself cruising down from time to time has not been easy. I find that it was easier to be numb, I didn't say it was healthier, or better for anyone else who knows me, just easier for me. It's hard to open Pandora's box. The first burst of box opening, and the everything hitting you at once, really is hard. You feel like you had made progress then you get hit with everything and it is so overwhelming, that you feel like you failed ( or maybe it's just me, failing seems to be my favorite emotion lately). What do you do with all this once it's opened? I withdrew. I put up all those walls, because it was safer there. I got lost in my own head. I felt like I failed because I didn't know what to do with all that. I felt alone so I made myself almost alone. I reached out just a little, it took the edge of the feelings, it kept me from feeling like the world would be better off without me, but it didn't ...