Hello

Someday I will be beautiful. Someday I will that girl in the grocery store that a complete stranger smiles at for reasons other than that, Oh I have been there parent smile when one of the boys is in the middle of a meltdown or being loud. Someday. I say this a lot actually, someday I will be this person. Right now the only person that tells me I am beautiful and I think mean it would be my family, mainly my husband and my boys in those rare and unusual moments when they acknowledge my appearance as something other than a pillow. Even I wouldn't go as far as saying I am attractive, which is why we developed the rule that we go with hubby's opinion of my appearance or I would spend so much more time self hating. It's been a life long struggle. Food is passion, food is my savior, food runs my life sometimes. I am the head cook at Bowen Family Restaurant, a.k.a my kitchen. We started buying healthier, cutting out soda, and carbs because I love carbs. Just don't touch m...

My middle child turned 5 in April. September is going to be bittersweet. There is so much to do, so much to think about. So, so much. His MRI, and his EEG all came back normal!!! Yeah, his brain is good. However this leaves us in an interesting spot, no diagnoses. With final IEP meetings coming up, transitioning meetings, and summer school we are left with no answers. I will admit this left me wondering what to do. I freaked out for a bit, I am not going to lie. How is it that this smart, vibrant boy, who is testing at a three year old level, how is there no answers!!! What is wrong! What did I do!! Then I regrouped, it isn't anything I did. There isn't anything wrong with him. He is a smart, capable, imaginative child. We don't have to have answers. The diagnosis or lack of it doesn't change him. He is who he is. It changes me. It changes my goal. It changes my fight. I don't have answers, I don't have a diagnosis to fall back on. What I have is my figh...