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Deep Thoughts By Jessica: I realize with Grayson starting pre k, and him outgrowing his 3t clothes, that I HAVE NO MORE BABIES. There will be none coming from this house, now what the heck do I do with this clothes I don't want to get rid of because all three boys wore half of this stuff. Hold me while I cry. Tough love. It breaks my heart to give it. It breaks my heart when I find one of the boys in a situation where I have to let them sink or swim. They have to learn, but it doesn't make it any easier to watch especially when they are making the wrong choice. Watching someone from the older generation slip away, because the path they are going down ends with memory loss they can't help is EMOTONALLY draining. Especially when you have no legal ties and they don't have to let you help. How do you swoop in? How? I'm not willing to walk away, because being the only family left in their eyes has brought me to a point where I feel like I am wa...

As some parts of the Nation are watching a Momma Orcha go into an unprecedented third week of grieving for her baby calf, I really got to thinking about her, her pod and why this means so much to me. Secretly, (not so secretly if you have been around here for any length of time) you are aware that sometimes my thoughts and feelings take on a life of their own. Sometimes the simplest thing can make me cry or make me angry, my threshold for stress often times can be crossed by the drop of a pin. I had rough pregnancies. There is no denying this, actually Grayson is my miracle baby. We lost him for a week, there was no heartbeat, they said I miscarried. I was too far along to pass him on my own so they were going to have to do an in office procedure, so I went back the next week and to everyone's amazement there was a heartbeat. A strong, loud, can't be missed heartbeat. The baby I had lost was suddenly found. We were elated. We were left with no explanation. I had just grie...