Hello

As most of us sit in some version of "shelter in place" the thoughts swarm in my head. The words I don't want to say out loud, are about to hit this screen with the clacks of the keyboard. Writing is my therapy, and since I haven't been to therapy in like over month, closer to two I think, I needed to do something. So here we go.... Remote learning for school, has been a flop this week. What is funny is last week we did some activities online from school approved sites and the kids were good with that. Funny how I get the packets from school and the chromebooks come home, and then it's a whole different ball game, and they no longer want to play. I haven't started today, and it's only day two of remote learning, the hope is low today. We shall see what today brings besides coffee, and lots of it. The other thing that is bothering me, is people hoarding the toilet paper. Did I miss a memo somewhere where this is the golden commodity?? I don't get it

I wear my heart on my sleeve but I will make you work to get my walls down. I don't think I am ugly but I have a heard time believing my husband when he tells me I am pretty. I am patient but I want what I want right now. I feel everything but grow numb to life. I love hard but I am quick to walk away from people. I want peace, but I will fight till the death. I am a victim but I am a warrior. I am calm or charging like a bull. I look like I got my shit together to some, but in reality I have NO CLUE what I am doing most of the time. I am obese and I struggle with eating disorders. I need attention as much as I enjoy being a hermit. I have roots and I want to have wings. I advocate for people with mental illnesses, and I hate the damn label. I am all these things. My life is an oxymoron and somewhere between the two opposites of life is my middle ground. I hate middle ground because well I have never stood in the middle, I am on one end of the spectrum or the othe