The Summer I lost my damn mind..............again.
The arrival on Mini Thor meant the chaos had officially hit. The careful schedule we were all used to, especially Littleman ( he is on the Autism spectrum, structure is very important) was out the window, and in the driver seat was Mini Thor. Life run by a newborn is totally logical if you have ever meet one, they don't understand when you HAVE to go to the bathroom. They don't care, if they are sleeping on you and your arm has been numb for the last thirty minutes and you move them ever so gingerly and they start screaming. They simply don't care.
For the other three members in the household this has been a tough adjustment. Squeaker is suffering from middle child syndrome. He is very much look at me look at me. Littleman has basically decided he is going to be pissed at me and everything is my fault, our bad days by far outweigh our good. Hatter has been working his ass off, and has hit his breaking point, he is just toast. He needs a break from all the overtime and the noise of three kids sometimes ( okay ALL the time) doesn't help ( side note, he is on the spectrum too).
A LOT of changes besides Mini Thor's arrival has happened. We have Squeaker 85% potty trained, and he now has a bedtime. Big changes for him. Littleman is on the cusp of this preteen crap and he is 10 going on 16. The boys each have had some major growth spurts over the summer as well. Littleman and I are a constant battle of dominance, I will NOT bow down to him and he doesn't like it. I am the adult he is the child, as soon as he understands that life will become easier, until then it sucks.
Then there is me. Sometimes living in a house of three non typical people is tough. They all need to be spoken to differently, they all have different triggers, and they all need my attention (usually it is at the same time). I feel my sanity going. I think it's barely hanging on. This summer every plan, every attempt to do something for me, or to make life easier has failed miserably. I lost myself again in the chaos of the boys. I love them don't get me wrong, but I don't think I could get any lower on my list of things that need to be taken care of. I remember to take out the trash more often than I have remembered to shower lately.
There is eleven days until Littleman goes back to school. As horrible as this sounds, I can not freaking wait to get him out of here for a large portion of the day. I only have to feel like a single parent until the end of the month, when Hatters schedule returns to the hours we are used to. We couldn't afford to turn down the overtime, it is going to cover the damage paid on the van from the hit and run and the rest of Christmas we need to do. So my sanity came at the cost of Christmas, Hatter is in the same boat as me.
I don't know how much longer I can keep this string together. The knots are beginning to fray, and it is wearing thin. I just keep telling myself we are half way done the month and then I can have some time. Emotionally and physically I am drained, I am exhausted. Hatter and I can do something fun. All I need is the magic hammer from Fix it Felix to make sure I make it through.
( I wrote this about me, but basically Hatter feels similar and I know this but he doesn't blog so you get life through my eyes.)
For the other three members in the household this has been a tough adjustment. Squeaker is suffering from middle child syndrome. He is very much look at me look at me. Littleman has basically decided he is going to be pissed at me and everything is my fault, our bad days by far outweigh our good. Hatter has been working his ass off, and has hit his breaking point, he is just toast. He needs a break from all the overtime and the noise of three kids sometimes ( okay ALL the time) doesn't help ( side note, he is on the spectrum too).
A LOT of changes besides Mini Thor's arrival has happened. We have Squeaker 85% potty trained, and he now has a bedtime. Big changes for him. Littleman is on the cusp of this preteen crap and he is 10 going on 16. The boys each have had some major growth spurts over the summer as well. Littleman and I are a constant battle of dominance, I will NOT bow down to him and he doesn't like it. I am the adult he is the child, as soon as he understands that life will become easier, until then it sucks.
Then there is me. Sometimes living in a house of three non typical people is tough. They all need to be spoken to differently, they all have different triggers, and they all need my attention (usually it is at the same time). I feel my sanity going. I think it's barely hanging on. This summer every plan, every attempt to do something for me, or to make life easier has failed miserably. I lost myself again in the chaos of the boys. I love them don't get me wrong, but I don't think I could get any lower on my list of things that need to be taken care of. I remember to take out the trash more often than I have remembered to shower lately.
There is eleven days until Littleman goes back to school. As horrible as this sounds, I can not freaking wait to get him out of here for a large portion of the day. I only have to feel like a single parent until the end of the month, when Hatters schedule returns to the hours we are used to. We couldn't afford to turn down the overtime, it is going to cover the damage paid on the van from the hit and run and the rest of Christmas we need to do. So my sanity came at the cost of Christmas, Hatter is in the same boat as me.
I don't know how much longer I can keep this string together. The knots are beginning to fray, and it is wearing thin. I just keep telling myself we are half way done the month and then I can have some time. Emotionally and physically I am drained, I am exhausted. Hatter and I can do something fun. All I need is the magic hammer from Fix it Felix to make sure I make it through.
( I wrote this about me, but basically Hatter feels similar and I know this but he doesn't blog so you get life through my eyes.)
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