Summer Came In with a Bang
Summer this year has been difficult to say the least. It started with my middle child graduating from Headstart. Then I broke my ankle, same day actually. My oldest is going through puberty. The baby is teething, like in the last four months he has popped out about 6-8 teeth. My parents dog whom I loved dearly, had to be put down. Did I tell you that most of this happened in the last three weeks???
There's more but we won't go into that. What we will go into is this, whenever life with the kids gets crazy I seem to fall off my own list of people to take care of. It seems to be so simple of thing to be like okay, you need to take care of you in crazy times.
I read an article today and they refereed to it as the airplane safety life mask rule. If you want to help others you need to help yourself first. I really suck at that. I put everybody so far ahead of me, that I become useless and everything falls apart.
I feel the weight of the world most days. The expectations from family, friends, and myself, often times leave me feeling like I am going in 15 different directions at the same time. I do realize most of it is in my head, and it's the expectations I feel people have of me but never have outwardly expressed. When you are a people pleaser the pressure you put on yourself is often times almost crushing when life isn't going as planned. I own that most of this is me, I also own I don't very often speak this.
Sometimes having this type of personality and two mildly special needs kids has me at my brink. It's so much easier to shut down, and run on autopilot than it is to face the feelings. I don't have typical children and sometimes I feel even those in the inner circle don't understand the feelings that come with being a parent to children like mine. Most of the people I know have "normal" kids. Sometimes it makes it that much harder not to have somebody who I vent it out to.
Sometimes my day in and day out would make another person's head spin. I often loose sight of this as it's another day in life for me.
Sometimes I need to get out of my own damn head and remember I am human. I am human.
There's more but we won't go into that. What we will go into is this, whenever life with the kids gets crazy I seem to fall off my own list of people to take care of. It seems to be so simple of thing to be like okay, you need to take care of you in crazy times.
I read an article today and they refereed to it as the airplane safety life mask rule. If you want to help others you need to help yourself first. I really suck at that. I put everybody so far ahead of me, that I become useless and everything falls apart.
I feel the weight of the world most days. The expectations from family, friends, and myself, often times leave me feeling like I am going in 15 different directions at the same time. I do realize most of it is in my head, and it's the expectations I feel people have of me but never have outwardly expressed. When you are a people pleaser the pressure you put on yourself is often times almost crushing when life isn't going as planned. I own that most of this is me, I also own I don't very often speak this.
Sometimes having this type of personality and two mildly special needs kids has me at my brink. It's so much easier to shut down, and run on autopilot than it is to face the feelings. I don't have typical children and sometimes I feel even those in the inner circle don't understand the feelings that come with being a parent to children like mine. Most of the people I know have "normal" kids. Sometimes it makes it that much harder not to have somebody who I vent it out to.
Sometimes my day in and day out would make another person's head spin. I often loose sight of this as it's another day in life for me.
Sometimes I need to get out of my own damn head and remember I am human. I am human.
Oh, darlin'...if the people in your circle don't "get it", it's time to change your circle:)
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