Hello

To all who read this, this may seem like a no brainer but I just realized this like whole heart idly, like I had never thought of it before. My oldest is never going to be "normal." He is always going to struggle. There will NEVER be a moment when we have caught up. He just won't. His destiny is yet to be determined. He has yet to figure out some relatively simple things in his life. This is how he is going to be, this road, this is our forever road. This is our forever road.  I may have to watch Damian longer than I watch Jon. He may be an adult living with us. I may have to continue to build ties with the community for him. He may never be able to go to the doctors by himself. He may never be a fully functioning adult, chances are he will always need guidance. He will struggle to hold a job. He will struggle with day to day tasks, like hygiene, and remembering his laundry. This never crossed my mind. NEVER. I didn't expect this road to be our forever road. I a

Part one wasn't personal at all because I simple wasn't ready to discuss what was going on. Since this is such a public forum I am not getting into it too deeply, it's just my perspective we shall discuss. Being a stay at home mom with a crazy schedule of doctor appointments, meetings and such between the three boys, there isn't a lot of me time. Having a husband who works nights and one vehicle doesn't make for an easy juggle of struggles. Trying to do it all and be it all is exhausting. Facebook is my only adult conversation place for the bulk of my communication, and I still only interact with about five people. Worrying about IEP's and pediatrician appointments, and being available at the drop of a hat for the schools calls doesn't help any either. Sometimes I feel like the lone ranger. Actually to be honest most of the time I feel like the ranger. I make the joke of being superwomen when really I don't feel like I do enough. I am a people please

So there has been too much going on in the land of Chaos and maybe when life is on a more stable track and I know things are in a better direction I will write about that. For now this is my first rant/vent post. I went grocery shopping yesterday and something had happened because when I arrived somebody was being placed on a stretcher, there was a firetruck, an ambulance, and like three cop cars. I waited to go in because it was me and the baby, had I had either one of the other boys I would have gone home. We get to checkout, and the cashier is being a chatty cathy and totally being unprofessional in discussing what happened. The cashier made a comment about how the person seemed to be special needs and proceeded to spout off. Nope, not me, not going to keep my mouth shut. I shut down the cashier, oh and the person running the front of the store was the bagger. Yup schooled them too. Many people suffer from invisible illness. I have my imaginary brain tumors, depression, anxiet