To be or to be poor that is my question..........
Well it's been awhile since I last wrote. Things have improved on one end and spiraled in another. I am almost 10 pounds lighter, go me, husband has a new job, oldest is well mellowing I think, middle child is adjusting well to school and the baby is getting his molars early.
The end of the year is always the hardest. Money becomes tight. The holidays come in. I miss my Grampa, my other angels, and I worry about how to tie all the strings together and keep it all going afloat. I mean this feels like it is a pretty normal middle class problem................only not sure we technically qualify as middle class anymore, and that is where my problem lies.
We made this wonderful change, a change that so desperately needed to happen for the emotional and relationship status of everybody who lives here. That is why we made the leap of faith.
The reality is I have no clue how to make this work. NO CLUE. I don't want a hand out. We can't make it without help though. I don't want to be like all those stupid memes on the internet that always infuriate me.
The truth is we spend a car payment a month on the oldests meds. The truth is we scrimp and we save and I budget very well to afford little extras for the middle child for therapy at home. The truth is I am very careful what we buy, yes we do buy organic, and yes we buy Toaster Strudels, life in this house is a balance.
But we don't qualify as middle class based on income, and we aren't technically in poverty either. I am almost embarrassed to publish this. That itself my friends is the problem. We work our asses off in this house. We have two mildly or not so mildly special needs children depending on the day. It is still cheaper for me to stay home and take care of the baby. My husband does work, and he sacrificed five years of his life at a shit job that paid good but made him miserable.
So if we can't make it work, why should we feel guilty about seeking help? It's not a forever plan. It's a we need to function better as a family. It's a you make this work with all the appointments, therapies, and extras I do to give my kids a better life, choice. We choose family, we choose to devote time to our kids, to give them a better chance of being functional adults.
I don't to be labeled as lazy. I don't want to label myself as poor. I want to give my kids the very best I can. I don't want to be ashamed. I want my kids to know they can ask for help. I want them to be confident enough to do so in real life.
I choose family, I put them first, and if that makes us lazy, then I guess the only person that should be ashamed is the people calling us lazy.
The end of the year is always the hardest. Money becomes tight. The holidays come in. I miss my Grampa, my other angels, and I worry about how to tie all the strings together and keep it all going afloat. I mean this feels like it is a pretty normal middle class problem................only not sure we technically qualify as middle class anymore, and that is where my problem lies.
We made this wonderful change, a change that so desperately needed to happen for the emotional and relationship status of everybody who lives here. That is why we made the leap of faith.
The reality is I have no clue how to make this work. NO CLUE. I don't want a hand out. We can't make it without help though. I don't want to be like all those stupid memes on the internet that always infuriate me.
The truth is we spend a car payment a month on the oldests meds. The truth is we scrimp and we save and I budget very well to afford little extras for the middle child for therapy at home. The truth is I am very careful what we buy, yes we do buy organic, and yes we buy Toaster Strudels, life in this house is a balance.
But we don't qualify as middle class based on income, and we aren't technically in poverty either. I am almost embarrassed to publish this. That itself my friends is the problem. We work our asses off in this house. We have two mildly or not so mildly special needs children depending on the day. It is still cheaper for me to stay home and take care of the baby. My husband does work, and he sacrificed five years of his life at a shit job that paid good but made him miserable.
So if we can't make it work, why should we feel guilty about seeking help? It's not a forever plan. It's a we need to function better as a family. It's a you make this work with all the appointments, therapies, and extras I do to give my kids a better life, choice. We choose family, we choose to devote time to our kids, to give them a better chance of being functional adults.
I don't to be labeled as lazy. I don't want to label myself as poor. I want to give my kids the very best I can. I don't want to be ashamed. I want my kids to know they can ask for help. I want them to be confident enough to do so in real life.
I choose family, I put them first, and if that makes us lazy, then I guess the only person that should be ashamed is the people calling us lazy.
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