The Leap Of Faith
I waited a while to really write about this just because well we were waiting to see if it was going to work. It hasn't been easy, it has been a lot of trying to line ducks up, and you know the thing about lining up ducks they always wander off. So we had to chase a few down.
So far the lack of funds is kind of stressful at points but it is NOTHING compared to the stress we had before. The leap of faith left us poor in the pocket but rich in family life. I can't say as if this is how we really wanted to live, yes some bills are going to be late, yes we are going to need to save our tax return and life off that money at some point in the next coming year, but the love in the house is there.
The boys seem to feel less stress, things are coming into a good rhythm. I have accepted the fact that the oldest child will always be my wild card, and it will never be easy, or predictable. I also see the need to give him responsibility in things HE wants responsibility in. So cooking class Saturday has begun. The first weekend we made tacos together. He has picked Mac&Cheese ( not the instant) for the second week. The third week I think we will do pancakes. The middle child is making progress with some recent regression in potty training, and from my phone conference with his teacher is actually doing better than I had expected. The almost toddler, well he is creating a total mess just a few feet away. So they are good, and the change seems to be what they needed.
Even the hubby has improved in mood, he is more of the man I knew he could be than when he was overloaded from work stress. The thing with children with Autism they grow up to be adults with Autism, and respond to over-stimulation the only one they can process. So it has been nice to have them ALL in better places in their heads.
Me, I think I am finally there at the point when the ducks have all been caught, and are lined up, not all nice and pretty, kind of dysfunctional, but I can see enough to know they are there. What a crazy leap of faith this was, full force into the deep end of the unknown, and look at us, treading water.
So far the lack of funds is kind of stressful at points but it is NOTHING compared to the stress we had before. The leap of faith left us poor in the pocket but rich in family life. I can't say as if this is how we really wanted to live, yes some bills are going to be late, yes we are going to need to save our tax return and life off that money at some point in the next coming year, but the love in the house is there.
The boys seem to feel less stress, things are coming into a good rhythm. I have accepted the fact that the oldest child will always be my wild card, and it will never be easy, or predictable. I also see the need to give him responsibility in things HE wants responsibility in. So cooking class Saturday has begun. The first weekend we made tacos together. He has picked Mac&Cheese ( not the instant) for the second week. The third week I think we will do pancakes. The middle child is making progress with some recent regression in potty training, and from my phone conference with his teacher is actually doing better than I had expected. The almost toddler, well he is creating a total mess just a few feet away. So they are good, and the change seems to be what they needed.
Even the hubby has improved in mood, he is more of the man I knew he could be than when he was overloaded from work stress. The thing with children with Autism they grow up to be adults with Autism, and respond to over-stimulation the only one they can process. So it has been nice to have them ALL in better places in their heads.
Me, I think I am finally there at the point when the ducks have all been caught, and are lined up, not all nice and pretty, kind of dysfunctional, but I can see enough to know they are there. What a crazy leap of faith this was, full force into the deep end of the unknown, and look at us, treading water.
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