Dear child of mine,

It's been almost 40 days since you walked out the door, well more like ran. Your glasses fell and hit the road. You had a destination. We changed that destination and it forever has changed our path.

Dear Child of Mine,

I am writing you this letter to let you know the 40 days we have spent apart were not without merit. We felt like we were going to get you something better. Our regret, your Daddy and I, is we thought you were in a safe place. We thought it was where you needed to be. We were wrong. We were lied to.

My dear child, when you look back on this time I hope you see that it was with a good heart and faith in system, that we found out was broken while you were away, that we tried our best. I know it wasn't fun for you. Believe me, it wasn't all fun and games for us either.

While you were away you missed birthdays, and our first trip to Santa's Village. Your brother turned three. We had fun. We missed you. I held your brothers as they cried worried about you. I cried too, for everything, the good and the bad.

Child, you will always be my first child. I know I didn't give birth to you, but you are my first child. Good or bad, I am still here for you. Fighting, worrying, hoping, loving, crying, stressing, missing you, and still here, finding the last of your dirty clothes and re doing your room once again.

I guess what I am saying, is I don't feel guilty for sending you in there. I am sad I put my faith in someone who failed us, that wasn't fair to you. I want you to know once we figured out you weren't in a good situation we got you out as soon as possible.

I want to tell you I think we got some good people now. I want to tell you it will be all okay. I want to tell you life is going to be better. I want to but I can't promise you that, we made a deal a long time ago that I wouldn't lie to you about the important things.

I can promise you I am still here. I can promise you I still love you. I can promise you, I know you are going to have bad days. I can promise you all I want is for you to try, and if you try and fail if you gave it your all we are good. I can promise you, I will still be here fighting for you, even if it feels like I am fighting with you, I am still fighting for you.

Child of mine, I hope you know I love you. I hope you know I and your Daddy are trying our very best. Child of mine, I see you, please just know that.

Someday you won't be a child. Someday you might have to fight battles on your own. Someday. Today isn't that day. So until someday hits, I am still here bud.

I'm still here.

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