I am an Introvert with Extrovert Responsibilities.
I said to my mom, " I am an introvert with extrovert responsibilities." She said it was a good idea for my next blog. I laughed. She will probably steal this wording, and it will be one of those that live as a Jessism, sometimes I stumble into greatness.
I think we need to look quickly at the introverts and extroverts, in my world my Mom is an extrovert. She could talk to people all day long, she can think on her feet. She can people on the fly, without batting an eye.
Me on the other hand, I have called my husband from inside the grocery store crying before because there was too many people. I have called him from the parking lot because I couldn't handle other drivers and I was white knuckle griping the steering wheel. I still have to bring people to my appointments because either I can't drive myself there, or I won't talk, or I just won't go. Yes, all three of those reasons are different. This means, I don't people well.
I am an introvert with extrovert responsibilities. I have special needs children. We have a team, a freaking village, truly we operate with a village. My middle child has a regular doctor, a GI doctor, an educational specialist, and every now and then a neurologist. That is just one kid, not to mention the dentist, and yes those trips are more frequent he goes like 4-6 a year, sensory kiddos hate brushing their teeth. Luckily, the youngest is a little more mellow, he has on doctor and we just started taking him to the dentist. The oldest, is by far the most complicated, but he is a teenager, so we breeze on by because he is old enough to tell his story, it's just complicated.
Then there is me, me with the mental health stuff the failing body. The hatred of doctor's offices and hospitals because that's where people go to die. Me, the women who's favorite joke is I have the memory of a goldfish...........cracker, is in charge of navigating and remembering these appointments. I have a standard rule everywhere, if you don't send me a reminder I will not show up. Yes sometimes it get's me in trouble, but it is what it is.
I can only juggle so many balls, and I am not good at juggling. My house usually looks like a tiny tornado hit it, maybe not so tiny if I am struggling with mental health stuff. You see my PTSD makes me view the outside world harshly, I am always waiting for the shoe to drop. The Borderline Personality Disorder leaves me thinking everyone hates me and I am failing. I guess in writing this I kind of view the world the same way I fear the world sees me ( definitely need to remember to tell my therapist this one).
Then, the I do these silly things like pick up side gigs for direct sales companies I feel passionate about. I do things like write blogs, and share my struggles with my mental health stuff because I don't want people to feel alone, because I don't like to feel alone. I join the parent/teacher group and half hardheartedly attend, when I am there I giving it 110%, it's just I can't always give 110% and that's when I don't go.
I forget to eat. I forget to brush my teeth. I don't shower because I don't plan on leaving my house so I don't care. I forget to take my vitamins or I take them twice because I don't remember taking them. I loose my patience quicker then I want.
I keep the tiny humans alive every day. I pour myself every day into them, because that is my job, don't for one second doubt that their daily needs are not meet. They get feed, dressed, we still manage to do arts and crafts projects. They have clean clothes, even if sometimes their socks don't match. I give 110% of what I got into them every day, even if that means I go to bed at 8 pm because I am exhausted.
I am an introvert with extrovert responsibilities, I reluctantly people but I people with passion.
I think we need to look quickly at the introverts and extroverts, in my world my Mom is an extrovert. She could talk to people all day long, she can think on her feet. She can people on the fly, without batting an eye.
Me on the other hand, I have called my husband from inside the grocery store crying before because there was too many people. I have called him from the parking lot because I couldn't handle other drivers and I was white knuckle griping the steering wheel. I still have to bring people to my appointments because either I can't drive myself there, or I won't talk, or I just won't go. Yes, all three of those reasons are different. This means, I don't people well.
I am an introvert with extrovert responsibilities. I have special needs children. We have a team, a freaking village, truly we operate with a village. My middle child has a regular doctor, a GI doctor, an educational specialist, and every now and then a neurologist. That is just one kid, not to mention the dentist, and yes those trips are more frequent he goes like 4-6 a year, sensory kiddos hate brushing their teeth. Luckily, the youngest is a little more mellow, he has on doctor and we just started taking him to the dentist. The oldest, is by far the most complicated, but he is a teenager, so we breeze on by because he is old enough to tell his story, it's just complicated.
Then there is me, me with the mental health stuff the failing body. The hatred of doctor's offices and hospitals because that's where people go to die. Me, the women who's favorite joke is I have the memory of a goldfish...........cracker, is in charge of navigating and remembering these appointments. I have a standard rule everywhere, if you don't send me a reminder I will not show up. Yes sometimes it get's me in trouble, but it is what it is.
I can only juggle so many balls, and I am not good at juggling. My house usually looks like a tiny tornado hit it, maybe not so tiny if I am struggling with mental health stuff. You see my PTSD makes me view the outside world harshly, I am always waiting for the shoe to drop. The Borderline Personality Disorder leaves me thinking everyone hates me and I am failing. I guess in writing this I kind of view the world the same way I fear the world sees me ( definitely need to remember to tell my therapist this one).
Then, the I do these silly things like pick up side gigs for direct sales companies I feel passionate about. I do things like write blogs, and share my struggles with my mental health stuff because I don't want people to feel alone, because I don't like to feel alone. I join the parent/teacher group and half hardheartedly attend, when I am there I giving it 110%, it's just I can't always give 110% and that's when I don't go.
I forget to eat. I forget to brush my teeth. I don't shower because I don't plan on leaving my house so I don't care. I forget to take my vitamins or I take them twice because I don't remember taking them. I loose my patience quicker then I want.
I keep the tiny humans alive every day. I pour myself every day into them, because that is my job, don't for one second doubt that their daily needs are not meet. They get feed, dressed, we still manage to do arts and crafts projects. They have clean clothes, even if sometimes their socks don't match. I give 110% of what I got into them every day, even if that means I go to bed at 8 pm because I am exhausted.
I am an introvert with extrovert responsibilities, I reluctantly people but I people with passion.
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