New year New Goals

I am not a fan of resolutions, as I am sure most people are. I do like the thought of reflecting on the year and making goals, I like to make three. One goal is straight up sarcasism like drink more coffee, one is something fun for me, like write a blog a month, and one is the goal I have had for years, some years get me closer to the goal than others, and that last one is to get healthy (these were the goals from 2015).

This year the sarcastic goal is tell people to f^$k off more. I tend to take on too much. I try to hold onto to many strings. I care too much. I get hurt a lot. I don't just suffer from my own anxiety and depression, I obsorb other people's as well. I have to be careful who I let in my circle because I can't take care of me if I feel like I am sucked into other peoples drama. I think this is a good goal, and maybe more people should jump on this bandwagon.

The second goal is to color more. Yup, I am one of those people who still colors. Sometimes I really am coloring in a color fort. It is a perk of being a stay at home mom. Coloring in this house is therapy, mental therapy and physical therapy for my middle child. Sometimes it is a way for the oldest to tell his thoughts in a safer way. My dad with help from my mom this year bought me this amazing art set, like it has everything in one box, it is the coolest thing ever, and I am sure it was over budget for him so I am going to make good use of it.

The third goal is hard. I ran a roller coaster this year of the get healthy goal. My eye sight improved which is amazing, I have a weird medical issue and if I really slack off I can go blind. I don't really want to get into it but I have to be better about taking care of me. A broken ankle ( before June)and then a fall that ended with staples in my head right before the holidays killed my groove I had got in each time. I haven't stepped on the scale since last month. I just can't.

The thing with becoming healthy I have learned is it as much mental as it is physical. I have more stretch marks from losing weight than gaining it. My skin sags. I have a lot of weight on a small frame. If I loose all the weight I want, there will need to be surgery to remove excess skin, yes I am one of those people. I have to be mentally okay with this appearance, that isn't easy as I found out this year.

The goal for healthy is multi steps. I just got to the point this year where I really understand how to do it. I need to drink two gallons of water a day to maintain good fluid intake. I need to find at least 15 minutes in the day to run, ultimately though, I need 45 minutes to be dedicated. Realistically to get the results I need, I need to work out five times a week with weight training as well. I need to eat less carbs, go back to the natural sugar with no calories, and eat more veges, without dressing. I also need to remember that I need sleep, and to limit to my stress as much as I can here in the land of Choas.

I can't keep my dedication if mentally I am not in the game. I have to have an open mind. I have to reach out to people who I trust. I have to have faith in myself and show myself some self love. I will get nowhere if I body shame myself. If you want to change the outside you need to be positive it just won't happen any other way.

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